Love, yeah, that sweet, wonderful feeling….Yep, nothing compares to it… the warm, sedated feeling, like you could fly (please don’t, you’re not Clark Kent. And that smile it puts on your face, especially when you think you’re alone. Nothing could possibly replace it…
I bet you’ve heard people say, sorry, wrong! I’m sure YOU have said over and over again…I’M IN LOVE!! If you haven’t, please kindly come for an emotional checkup because I detect a plastic or metallic box in your chest (that’s supposed to be your heart silly!) Unless, well, I reserve my comments…
Now, let’s gist…yeah, just me and you…wait, chill…take a nice, comfortable position, grab a glass of something cold, or hot, or whatever temperature…and let’s have a chat…
Hmmm, I’ll start with the ladies…after all you love to be put first in everything (except catching grenades)…Now my sweet, beautiful ladies…I have just one question for you…WHAT DO WOMEN WANT? I mean…forget rocket science, forget astronomy, the discovery of the internet or Bluetooth technology…all men want to understand is your minds.
I’ve heard many of my friends say…”but he should know what I want”! Why assume he knows what you have never told him…You don’t expect him to know what you expect…because for all you know in his mind he might be the perfect man to you…
Let me play safe…because I think I’ve found the answer (and I deserve a Nobel peace prize)…I guess all women want is: HAPPINESS…And I guess any form of love that doesn’t make you happy is nothing short of trying to feed an elephant with a spoon…
So I did a survey….I threw an open question to the ladies, asking what they want from any guy they’re in love with, dating, engaged, married to… shaa any guy they have something with (flings, flirting, lust and one night stands not included). Here’s how it turned out….Guys, FASTEN YOUR SEAT BELTS!!! Cos there are a few surprising discoveries here…*clearing throat*
ONLY 23 percent, yes, only 23 percent (going through my figures again)…of ladies actually mentioned money in the list of things they want from a guy…I know guys will love this statistic, but it doesn’t mean you should quit your job, or looking for one, or relax the hustle…#hustlehard!
I don’t want to believe that babes don’t mind dating a guy who’s dead broke or who counts coins when going shopping…At least not in this era of Brazilian or Togolese hair, Blackberry, gold, recharge cards, even paying her house rent, you name it son…the list is painfully endless…
Guys, many ladies actually want a man who’s hardworking, has a dream, and who’s ambitious. You might not be driving a Range Rover or living in Lekki or Maitama, but every woman knows a man with a bright future, and will stick with you no matter what.
It only means that for so few ladies to have mentioned money there must be so many other things that are much more important to them than your fat wallet… I’m sure every woman wants to be comfortable but there are other things your woman wants from you that place money somewhere at the bottom, or middle of her list.
What are these other things?
70 percent of the ladies used two words: CARING and PASSIONATE…This made me actually do a study on the word ‘passionate’…I’ll define it this way in my own words: “It’s to have a strong, intense feeling usually sensual, sometimes sexual, that creates a desire to want to always be together with someone.”
A woman wants a man that can’t stand being away from her for long. A man who thinks about her all the time. A man who feels like a part of him is missing whenever she’s not with him…That means no matter how long you’ve been dating, you still feel strong emotions and attraction whenever you see her…
Guys, we’ve got to show it through actions…Hold her, cuddle her, kiss her forehead, give her small, unexpected gifts, stroke her hair (even if she hasn’t been to the salon in weeks), tell her she’s the most beautiful person in the world (even if she has bags under her eyes)…Be her “Mr.Bond, James Bond”…if you get the drift. Be romantic, a text in the middle of the day that says “hi baby, just want you to know you mean the world to me,” can blow her mind.
How about spending time with her? Stop using work as an excuse. After all you had the same job when you were ‘toasting’ her. And you were never too busy then. You were free any time she was free enough to see you.
Act like you haven’t seen her in three years even if it’s been only three days…I know it could be hard sometimes (ok, maybe most times), but you’ve got to put her before you. Men always have issues, but you have to attend to hers like it was yours, no matter how silly hers may seem compared to yours…You might be going through stress at work on a Monday morning, and she keeps calling to say “baby, I can’t find the pictures on my phone” (shaking my head)…
Ladies, like normal human beings, get bored if they keep seeing the same thing over and over again. Guys, BE CREATIVE…no matter how passionate you are, if you keep sending the same kind of texts or doing the same things over and over again…someday some other guy will sweep her away with something more ‘interesting’.
As a man, your swag must be on point…you know? Surprise her (and don’t ask me how, it depends on the kind of chic you have). One chic’s aphrodisiac might be another’s allergy. Keep ‘wowing’ her with new ‘stunts’…oops! So many inverted comas here…lol, you do get the point right?
Keep looking for ways to impress her, I didn’t say jump off the Eiffel tower or buy a shopping mall for her (though most ladies won’t mind the mall). Just look for how to express your love in new ways. After all, na you go fall in love. So keep putting a smile on her face.
Guys, no matter what a lady says or does, NEVER, I repeat NEVER lay your hands on her. How would you feel if another man hit your sister? Good. So keep your hands to yourself.
Now this part is interesting: Over 75 percent of the ladies used these exact words…”I want a man who is good in bed” or “who knows how to have great sex”. Well, guys, no dey fall your hand o…You have to satisfy your woman or some other hunk will gladly assist you. Else you’ll have her playing the song “he wasn’t man enough for me” on full volume. For further help on the matter, the Google brothers have given you a way out.
Now this one probably tops the list of what women want: FAITHFULNESS, TRUTH and RESPECT. The biggest crime, according to the ladies, is a man cheating on them. Cheating (anyhow you define it) or having another babe apart from your girl is totally unacceptable. Like most ladies will quickly ask you “Tell me!! ehn! Tell me, what is it she has that I don’t have?” They don’t want us men flirting or having any affair while we’re dating them…Guys, we all know it’s probably easier to climb Mount Everest than to stay faithful. But if you truly love her, then grit your teeth, hold your ‘Johnny’ intact and be a good boy. If she’s worth dating, she’s worth the commitment.
Ladies want us to tell them the truth always, no matter how much it will hurt, (hmmmmmmm…so help me God). Tell her exactly how you feel, admit your mistakes, tell her the things you like and don’t like her saying, doing or wearing. She can’t possibly read your mind. Be expressive, say it the way it is.
Besides, I don’t think you can claim to respect someone you’re not honest or faithful to.
Finally, because it seems I could go on writing forever, is LEADERSHIP. A man must be, well, a man! Step up to the plate, go hard or go home. No woman wants a man she can’t look up to with respect and pride. Be in control of situations, that doesn’t mean you won’t listen to her views and opinions on issues. Let’s face it men, the women are usually better in decision making (I might need a bodyguard after this article).
One important way to be a good leader is to be close to God. I’m not a ‘spiri-koko’ or religious fanatic. But the truth is, one way to earn the trust and respect of a woman is to show her you’re making efforts to be close to God, no matter your religion. That way she’ll have confidence in your words and actions…
Though to be honest, only a mere 15 percent of the women mentioned the man being God fearing as something they want. Ladies! This yet again goes to prove that you people prefer to date the ‘bad guys’ and want to keep good guys (like me) as brothers abi? Ok o!
As a good friend of mine said,”We (women) are not complicated, we’re dynamic. The woman you do not truly love is complicated but the one you do can never be complicated to you, because the word complicated means problematic. And someone you love can never be a problem to you.”
Some people might not agree with that statement, but I do. Because I believe when a woman loves, she loves for real. So it’s a man’s role to be patient and understand his woman inside out, in a way perhaps, no other person can.
As for those babes who answered my survey by simply stating “No woman can ever get what she wants”, well, that’s why you’re still unhappy. When you start to believe that you can, and will get what you want and deserve, then you’ll begin to attract such. I’ve heard it countless times, but I’ll say this “All men are NOT the same”. Like they say, “no man is worth crying for, but when you find the one that’s worth your tears, he won’t make you cry”. There are good men out there, you’ll find one, or rather, one will find you.
I must warn you, there are many ‘thugs in gentlemen’s clothing’ out there. So beware!
Every one wants to be happy, and trust me, happiness will find you…Don’t give up on love, the best is yet to come…