Some days ago I heard my phone beep! The usual BBM tone….it was a dull day at the office…you know? One of those really boring office moments where every single sound from your phone gives you a leap of excitement…(glad my boss doesn’t know what a blog is). It was one of those days your phone can be a life saver, even a message from MTN telling me fifty naira had been deducted for my caller tunes made life interesting . Really…don’t even know my own caller tunes, for all I know it might still be Tu face’s implication. Yeah, I’m that stale…*blushing*

Now back to what I was saying…I picked up the phone and opened the chat…it was from “kiki”…she’s one of those contacts who more or less just decorate my blackberry…Our entire chat history is in purple ink…for you BB users you know what that means right…uhuh, the ever dreaded annoying i-could-punch-you-in-the-face-for-these broadcast messages… And well, this one was no different…it was still in purple ink…

I read it and couldn’t help laughing…It was hilarious, yet serious…it got me thinking and I’m sure it’ll get you thinking too…It read:

“No lies please..Just be truthful. If you are given ₦300M to end the relationship with whoever you are dating, will you accept the offer? Your secret is safe with me… *wink*”

There! The truth is…your answer came to your mind within a split second of reading that question…And I don’t want to be hasty to judge oh…*adjusting my halo* but I’m pretty sure most of you have answers that wouldn’t exactly leave the person you’re dating  smiling at you and saying “I love you too”…

Ok, let me give you a chance to really think about it. Would you dump (yes, dump!) your boyfriend, girlfriend, fiancé or fiancée for ₦300M…let me say it in words for it to sink in…THREE HUNDRED MILLION NAIRA!! Wow!!

Imagine what you could do with all that cash…That could buy you your own estate! All the cars you only ever see in your dreams…take you shopping (and I don’t mean Shoprite or Cedi plaza)…talk to the hand you cheapos…*laughing*… I’m talking Dubai, Paris, New York, Amsterdam, Madrid. You’ll finally get that dream holiday you always wanted…sipping on a martini on a beach in the Caribbean watching curvaceous well tanned beauties in bikinis (if you’re a lady and the “ladies in bikinis” part got you excited, 14 years awaits you oh)…*laughing*

Just imagine! 300 million naira! Most of you have made your choice…come on, don’t be shy…remember “your secret is safe with me”…In your hearts you’ve already walked away from that ‘relationship’ into your awesome fortune…

Deuces baby! Yup…Chris Brown you’ve got a new set of fans…saying damn love, show me the money! After all, as the saying goes…”there’s no love without money”…whose saying is that by the way? Must be Hugh Hefner’s if I’m to guess. Mind you, I’m only bringing out the thoughts of those of you who are ready to swallow the millions of “I love you” you’ve ever said to the person you’re dating, for this life changing cash.

Now for the what? Maybe two percent (and I still feel that’s overestimating) that say they will never take the money over love…hmmmmm, let me remind you just how much 300 million naira really  is…that is two million dollars! You might never have to work again for the rest of your life…Never have to say “yes sir!” to any ‘oga’ again…You’ll be able to afford all you ever wanted…You could be the one to make your family comfortable for life…the reference point for your grand children. Think of all the luxury you would enjoy…Come on! Even Dangote would have a heart attack if he lost 300 million naira, it’s that much meeehn…

Like a colleague of mine who read this article before I uploaded it…he kept shaking his head and saying “never, never, I love my girlfriend too much…” No matter how much I tried to persuade and get him to realize just how much money we are talking about here…he still kept with the head shaking, saying “No, No…I love her…I can’t do such a thing” Wow! Now who’s this guy’s girlfriend? She should hear this…Such a display of chivalry…so touching…reminds me of Mel Gibson in the movie Bravehearts…*wiping tear* (if you missed the sarcasm then…oh well…)

Wait! Now my ribs are in pain…another colleague of mine just walked in and I asked her the question…She answered “N300 million is too much sef, just twenty million is ok…” I can’t stop laughing. A third colleague said he’ll leave his wife, yes, his wife! For the money…omg, these my office peeps no go use laff wound pesin o

Let me conclude this piece before my undone AutoCAD drawings come back to haunt me…In my opinion, it’s not the 300 million that matters; it’s what it represents…what do I mean? If there’s something, anything that can succeed in tempting you into thinking twice about your relationship…then you actually should think twice about what you’re doing there…

Money will always come and go, money can always be made and lost…but love, true love, will last for a lifetime…


21 thoughts on “LOVE FOR SALE

  1. OMO! Sharply I answered, Yes Oh! 300m! And that answer was impulsive, so I guess I should be worried! Then again, I’m not in any relationship … Hehehe. Having SAid that, if your impulsive answer was a Yes, then please spare the poor other and break up with them, eh? Before a proposal from Kidnappers Inc.tempts you…

  2. Now this is good.As a sharp naija boy,I said yes only 2 be able 2 buy d opportunity 2 have my girl back.We start over sum where else…Cos love is strong enough to surpass anything.well that’s just me.

  3. Just L♥√ع this! Ur use of words caught my attention nd did not let it go even as I comment, it lingers still! Weldone……..Omgosh, am actually blushing! Now am out….. Well, if I were In a relationship and dat question gets me tinkin even for a second, den he is nt right except greed sets in dat is…I will choose L♥√ع anyday, can’t do wivout it…..

  4. Hahaha!! Dumping girl friends and wives and bikini babes(that didnt get me excited!) This is serious sha. But I wont trade money for my love,At all oh! Money comes and goes…

  5. Brilliant piece…i like the smart use of humour too.
    Money over love?NAY!!
    Agreed money is HARD to come by,TRUE love is harder.Many opportunities would come to make mega money(if u r really smart though),but if u miss dat lone chance to really love and be loved!ooops,its gone 4eva!
    what is wealth if u can’t share it with whom u love?selah

    1. Tanx a d compliments…i have a huge smile on my face…but gotta say…it is sooooo temppting o! I had already taken the money before i even finished the question the first time i read it o…lol.. though i gotta say, if one tenth of the world’s population thought like you, there would be world peace…

  6. Uhmn…this is so tempting.Considering my present status,I’d leave dt gurl cald my frend.Afterall,trading such a huge sum for one’s gurlfrend isn’t a sure passport 2heaven.Xcept 4dis reason,I’d leave a thousand times in all sincerity…#no jokes. Bt Hey Man…nice work.God bless ur Fountain.Amen

  7. 100m too much sef…..50M and she will forgive and forget and move on with her life..LOL..Nowadays Love without money = useless

  8. U say wat! 300 WAT!!!!! Milllion!!!! Ok, I fall into the category of em who are single so ofcus I’m gonna take the cash. =))º°˚˚˚°ºнaĦaнaº°˚˚˚°º‎​=)). But seriously, if you are someone that appreciates love, the real 1, not all the “I love u” cliche, you’d know true love is very (so I’ve come to believe) hard to come by. So if I am in love, the money would shake me small, I aint gonna lie but for the sake of a once in a long time love I’d shake the offer. As you rightly said, money does come and go, so why sacrifice love for it. I follow others to say if you considered the cash and you are in a relationship, then YOU ARE MERELY HUMAN, but, if you go ahead to choose it over that relationship then you should think twice about it now.

    1. my dear…any relationship that would make me say no to 300 miliion naira…my dear, that one na marriage be that o…lol. cos right now *checking my account balance* that money dey tempt me veeeeeeery well o…true love however, is and will always be priceless…

  9. OK, hard to answer because am not in a relationship and I havent seen the 300M yet. But from where am standing i’ll take the money, Lol. For emphasis sake, Love needs money to survive.

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