“If you don’t know me…shut up, if you wan know me wadup…” Really feeling this track by wizzy and d’prince…nodding my head to it and typing…yeah, the song is like a million years old, but I love it all the same…
So peeps…wadup…hope y’all are good?
We’re gonna be having a little discussion…on something so little, yet so big…Now, it has always been believed in science, psychology and even in some religions, that opposites attract…And I am not talking about magnets here…I’m talking about people…men and women.
Is it really true that when you and someone have nothing or almost nothing, in common…or are different in some kind of way…that the attraction would be stronger, the love hotter and the relationship/marriage better? Does having different views and perspectives from your partner on different issues make you more compatible? I recently saw a discussion on it somewhere on the net, and so I decided to do a little analysis of my own…I’ll need your comments and contributions at the end too…these are my own views anyway…
I’ve decided to break it down into categories to make it easier. Here goes…
So, you have a guy or girl that’s basically a porn star (in bed)…I mean, this person just must have sex everyday (literally) or almost every day… And if they don’t get it, they’re not happy or satisfied. And they’re dating someone who basically yawns and stretches at the mention of the word sex (trust me, such people still exist o). The kind who don’t even believe in foreplay and just lie down and wait for the five minutes to be over (in the case of a girl), or just go in and are out of there in one minute (yup, such guys still exist…better believe it!) Now tell me, who is going to make the adjustment for who? Will the sex lover…or should I say addict, reduce his/her daily or weekly requirement? Or will the one who isn’t really into it have to do an advanced ‘upgrade’ and improve not just skills, but also the desire and hunger for more sex to meet up with the demands of the partner? You decide…already sounds really complicated to me…Trust me, this has been the cause of many failed relationships and marriages… Unsatisfied (or dare I say ‘over satisfied’ wives, husbands, boyfriends and girlfriends… looking for more much more sex than they’re being given. Or having to give more than they would even want to (reluctantly).
RELIGION/SPIRITUALITY/CLOSENESS TO GOD
So…you have the one who loves going to church every single day…whether there’s service or not…and the partner who would rather spend Sunday mornings sleeping, going golfing or watching TV. How do you balance the one who can spend the whole day praying…and the one who can’t remember the last time he or she said a word to God. The one who is very spiritual…doesn’t joke with anything pertaining to religion, versus the one who doesn’t have time…or really doesn’t care much for such stuff… This has been an issue for many a century among married peeps and those in relationships. Would you…as someone who’s really into having a good spiritual life (irrespective of your religion), be cool with a partner who is ice cool about such stuff? Or as one who just believes in saying a casual prayer from time to time, or who feels ‘living right’ is enough, be ok with someone who always seems to be quoting a bible verse or saying a word of prayer? Again…already seems complicated (to me).
THE EX FACTOR
So…you’re dating or perhaps even married to someone who doesn’t see anything wrong with still calling, texting, pinging or even hanging out with their exes. And you’re the type who believes anything that starts with ‘ex’ should be kept not just at arm’s length, but should be given a restraining order by a judge, of what? Maybe a thousand miles, yet the person you’re dating still receives calls, texts and BBM messages from their exes, and perhaps even hangs out with them, yet tells you ‘it’s nothing really’. *ice cubes, anyone?* I once had a girlfriend who would pick a call from her ex and then put her phone on speaker. He still called her “dear” and other names that made me want to grab a baseball bat (though I never did). I guess placing the call on speaker was supposed to make me ok with it? Well I wasn’t, and never will be ok with such. Personally, I don’t mind someone I’m dating still being friends with their ex. I mean, I don’t expect her to become sworn enemies with them just because we’re in a relationship. But it should be done respectfully, keeping in mind that I’m now the boss! So, when you have the ‘I’m comfortable being with my exes’ versus the ‘exes should be kept as far away as possible’, how does it pan out… Do I smell jealousy cooking?
So, you have the lady who likes everything…and I mean everything in perfect order. Even the pictures on the wall must be hanging at a perfect angle ninety (someone get me a protractor and set square). Unfortunately, she has a guy who can wear one pair of socks for three days, sorry make that three months, just because they’re black in colour. And whose room looks like hurricane Katrina does a drive by there every morning. How do you handle that? Or the guy is a neat freak, like me (do I hear any throats being cleared? I didn’t think so). So how does the guy who is neat to a fault, handle the girl who is a klutz, who can wear the same undies for days on end…? *grabs air freshener*
THE SOCIAL FACTOR
Now here we have the guy who can go clubbing every single day (yes, including Mondays), and the lady who likes to just stay home and watch a good movie (Africa Magic anyone?) I mean, this guy just loves to hang out, grab some drinks with his buddies and generally have fun all the time. Yet he has a wife/girlfriend who’d rather just hang out from time to time (if at all), or stay indoors with her man. Or you have the guy who is basically a ‘housewife’…is perfectly happy just being at home even on weekends, dating a girl that loves to paaarrrtaaaay!!! Loves a frequent ‘girls night out’, and wouldn’t trade her weekend groove for anything. *is it just me, or do I hear the sound of constant arguments?*
So, you guys have a fight or argument, and the next thing your phone rings, and it’s his mother calling to find out why you’re giving her son a hard time? Or his sisters threatening you that there are other girls waiting to take your place if you don’t get in line with their brother’s wishes and demands? Yet you’re the type who’d rather keep everything…or at least almost everything regarding your relationship or marriage between the two of you? Some guys are in the habit of using their friends, and even her friends, to beg their ladies when they’ve offended them. I know some ladies who can’t stand it. Or perhaps, you’re the type of guy who’s in laws (or potential in laws, if it gets to that stage), are always calling or texting. And your woman even insists that you add all her brothers and sisters (maybe her pastor too) on BBM so you can get along with the ‘family’ better? Yet left to you, you’d rather not. You prefer not to feel as if your privacy is being invaded… How does this really work out?
So, here we have it…I have a couple more points I wanted to add, but my laptop keyboard is already complaining of being overworked…plus I’m hungry…lol. I’ll hand the rest over to you…If there are any points you’d like to add, or any ones I’ve mentioned you’d like to discuss on, please feel free to use the comments box below…
Let’s express ourselves as young people…and find out if truly, opposites do (or do not) attract.