Nawa o…these days sha. I seem to lack inspiration, thanks to work and a million and one other commitments (A relationship isn’t one of them o) I’m proud of my single status. Hehehehe
But come to think of it. How do we define the word SINGLE? That’s an interesting question. Are you ever really single? Before some ladies people jump to crucify the question allow me land. There!! I just got my next blog post. We’ll be handling the SINGLE SYNDROME in the next one.
Let’s dish out the topic for the day: HOW TO KNOW IF YOU’RE A SIDE CHIC
P:S I’m a feminist o! *singing Beyoncé’s “Who Runs The World”*
- HE DOESN’T KEEP IN TOUCH.
He’s busy. He’s too busy. He’s really busy. You’re proud to tell the universe your man is the most hardworking organism in the planet. As my fellow Akwa Ibomites will say… “My siztah mbok crab foh ya-zev (my sister please clap for yourself) LOL. Yeeeah I know. He’s a banker. He resumes work by 6am and leaves the office by 1am in the morning. Oh yeah? I thought that was the same job he had all the time he was chasing you. No man is ever too busy my dear.
I didn’t say YOUR MAN ISN’T BUSY ooo. Don’t misquote me. I’m a very busy person myself. I mean, aren’t we all? The main word here is ‘too’. No matter how busy a guy is, he can’t be too occupied to the point he can’t find time to send you even ONE message on BBM, WhatsApp, twitter, or a simple five naira SMS. It’s been three days, and he hasn’t sent you even ONE message. He hasn’t called either. And you’re supposed to be the one woman that lights up his world? *moonwalking past you while sipping maltina*
- HE DOESN’T TAKE YOU OUT IN PUBLIC
You’re not dating batman. Yet it seems you and your ‘man’ hangout only in caves or underground. Ok that’s extreme. Point is he never attempts to take you out to places where people, (human beings) will see you both. Hotels, motels and guest houses are more likely venues for your dates, than his house or anywhere romantic. If that’s happening to you, chances are he’s afraid the real First Lady or one of her minions might spot you and him together. This is the part where Timone and Pumba sing “it’s a small world afterall…” I just ‘heard’ someone reading this ask, who are Timone and Pumba? Either you were born in the 60s or you never came close to a TV while growing up. Point is, a man that loves a woman doesn’t hide her.
- HE DOESN’T SHOW YOU OFF
So, you just celebrated your second anniversary (in your mind) as a couple. He has five sisters and six brothers, and he’s yet to introduce you to EVEN ONE of them. Yes, you’ve met all his friends. That’s because all of them know who the real madam is (not you). Yes they all like you. Of course, you’ve probably got the body of a swimsuit model and a face that’ll give the younger version of Mariah Carey a run for her money. You’re great in bed (all his friends know cos he’s told them), and you take care of him better than even his mum ever did. So they like you, maybe you also hook them up with your friends (bonus points!!!!!!) LOL.
Don’t get it twisted. Love is proud. Proud to let the whole world know you’re his!!!
- HE’S MARRIED
I’m sure even a three year old is smart enough to know a married man is A MARRIED MAN. He’s said vows of a lifetime to someone else. He said he loves you? Oh wow! You’re smarter than I thought, someone fetch me a cane. Some ladies wouldn’t mind being a second wife. Cool. But think about it, with all your class and education, would you want to be taken in as the second option? Do you really want all the drama that comes with polygamy and being bullied because you’re the ‘junior’? Does someone suddenly miss their school days?
- HE HASN’T MADE YOU THE ONE
I love that really beautiful key holder you’re wearing. Yeah, the one on your left hand, made of diamonds and rubies. He put that ring on your hand more than two years ago. And you’re still nor married???!!!! For those who haven’t even received anything remotely resembling a proposal, (Yes I know, it’s 2014, guys don’t ‘officially’ propose anymore). But a man who wants you to be his woman will let you know you are OFFICIALLY his woman. Else you get the famous lines from him like:
“I didn’t even realise we were dating…”
“We? Who is we? I didn’t know we were a couple”
“But I never asked you to be my girlfriend…”
I should watch your reaction to these lines *wears 3D glasses and grabs popcorn*
Everyone deserves to be more than an option. So unless you’re Oliver Pope, I strongly advise you shine ya eye and don’t let some lame, smooth talking dude charm you into being on the side walk. You belong on the red carpet!
So, I’m sure there are a lot more points and additions and arguments and allll that…Pls feel free to use the comments box below. Feel free to give your day the perfect boost by reading my older posts… *winks*